DATING APPS

My thoughts on dating apps: bleh.

To be honest, they aren't for me.

It started freshman year of college; Tinder was the big thing and everyone was swiping. I would secretly set mine to boys and girls, a big risk for my closeted self. Luckily, the default was boys and girls, so if another girl saw me it could have easily been a mistake, right? Mainly, I was on there to swipe, I never went on an actual Tinder date. Thus starts my non-existent dating app life.

I've tried them all: Tinder, Bumble (hate the 24 hour rule), HER (lezbos only), POF (didn't understand), and Hinge (the best so far). Here's what I don't like about any of them- the small talk. First off, I never know how to even start a convo that is enticing to another woman. Then the whole chit-chat part never appeals to me. I'm also not a person who is on their phone all that much, so when I am with other people, I completely forget to respond. Three weeks later I realize oh, I should maybe message that person back.

Sometimes when I'm buzzed and lonely, I hit the apps hard. I make a pact with myself that I will actually try this time and maybe even set up a date. Well, I let myself down every time. It's just a commitment I am not committed to.

One of the hardest parts for me is knowing what the girl is looking for. Not everyone is looking for a hookup or relationship. I've found some girls might just be looking for friends, so I don't want to come off too strong if they aren't even interested in me. Then don't get me started on the people looking for a 3rd. Sometimes they don't make it obvious, we match, we flirt, then boom she has a husband and they want me to be their "unicorn". I don't judge, but I'm trying to find me a wife here.

My main excuse for not using the apps is that I want to "meet someone in person." Which is true, but it hasn't worked out well for me at all. They are either 3+ hours away or it ends up being a one night stand (which don't get me wrong, I appreciate those nights too). I just can't seem to find anyone here in KC. When I go out, I am with friends and I give my attention and focus to them, causing me to potentially miss future love interests.

At the end of the day, I really want to say I gave dating apps a chance, but then I would just be lying.