A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN

Let me introduce you to one of my best friends. I first met them freshman year- I saved their friend from a creeper on the dance floor. Later that year we ran into each other at a bar the locals may know as Sharky's. They pulled me aside to talk and just blurts out, "So you're gay, right?" This was the first time someone has asked me or confronted me in anyway about my sexuality. I don't know what it was, but I didn't feel the need to lie or hide, I just responded with, "How did you know?"

We've been through a lot together, including my first pride, a Shania Twain concert, and even bringing in a new year. I ALWAYS have the best time when we are together, I just feel so comfortable. It's also a perfect friendship because we will never have a crush on the same person. I don't know where I would be in life without their beautiful presence. So, without further ado, I give you Kyton. ♥

How do you identify?

Ohhh identifying myself is always difficult. As of now, I go by the “he, him, his” pronouns, but you can find me more willing to answer to “princess.” I definitely don’t mind being addressed as “she, her, hers” but I typically don’t introduce myself with those pronouns. A lot of my closer friends will slide those pronouns in their speech, and I answer just the same. I think a part of me actually prefers it but at the end of the day, I’m still trying to find an actual first name that I like... 

What do you want people to know about you? What are common questions people ask you? Something people should know about me is that I don’t believe in labels. Even when it comes to my identity, I struggle because whatever words I use to define myself hold some type of connotation that categorize me into a box. I am very involved with the trans community, and I’ve noticed that even sometimes within that group, labeling can cause conflicts within the community. For example, someone who has undergone absolutely no physical (surgical) or mental (hormonal) changes but still wishes to identify as a trans individual or be addressed by the opposite pronouns does not always get the same respect as someone who has “fully” transitioned. 

On that note, many people do ask my if I am transitioning or in the process because of my appearance and preference on clothing. When going out with friends, I typically wear a full face of makeup, skinny jeans, and have my shoulder-length hair straightened. From the back, many people will address me with the “she, her, hers” pronouns, as soon as I turn around 99% of people will then look at me, their heart will drop, and begin apologizing for their mistake. Coming from a job in retail, this exact scenario happened about once a shift.

What offends you? This brings me to my next answer of the question, “What offends me?” To be honest, when the situation above does happen, although I know the person is apologizing out of sincerity and they’re doing to in attempt to make me feel better and cover their own embarrassment, it’s the apology that makes me upset. Them apologizing for mislabeling me makes me feel like I’m something that needs apologizing for. It lowers my self-esteem and in a way makes me feel less pretty or confident in my appearance. I know this is different for each person, but in the above scenario, my ideal response would just be to ignore the “mistake” (even though it’s not a mistake because I answer to anything) and carry on with the question or comment that originally started this conversation.

Bonus content: These particular words don’t offend me in any way, but they do make me uncomfortable:

-dude

-man

-sir